Humor Month – Joke of the Day
He sent the three of them away with the back seat of their cars stacked with bibles. He asked them to meet with him and report the results of their door-to-door selling efforts the following Sunday. Anxious to find out how successful they were, the minister immediately asked Jack, “Well, Jack, how did you make out selling our bibles last week?” Proudly handing the reverend an envelope, Jack replied, “Using my sales prowess, I was able to sell 20 bibles, and here’s the $200 I collected on behalf of the church.” “Fine job, Jack!”, the minister said, vigorously shaking his hand. “You are indeed a fine salesman and the Church is indebted to you.”
Church last week?” Paul, smiling and sticking out his chest, confidently replied, “I am a professional salesman.. I sold 28 bibles on behalf of the church, and here’s $280 I collected.”
The minister responded, “That’s absolutely splendid, Paul. You are truly a professional salesman and the church is indebted to you.
Louie shrugged. “I-I-I re-re-really do-do-don’t kn-kn-know f-f-f-for sh-sh-sh-sure,” he stammered.
Impatiently, Peter interrupted. “For crying out loud, Louie, just tell us what you said to them when they answered the door!” “A-a-a-all I-I-I s-s-said wa-wa-was,” Louis replied,
“W-w-w-w-would y-y-y-you l-l-l-l-l-like t-t-to b-b-b-buy th-th-th-this b-b-b-b-bible f-f-for t-t-ten b-b-b-bucks ——o-o-o-or——– wo-wo-would yo-you j-j-j-just l-like m-m-me t-t-to st-st-stand h-h-here and r-r-r-r-r-read it t-to y-y-you??”
(Sometimes you just have to think outside the box!)
Appomattox Day – Robert E. Lee realized and General U.S. Grant, with their men weak and exhausted, began a communication of letters discussing the terms of either side considering laying down their arms. This link is a breakdown of that conversation that culminated in the end to the war. Both sides considered the considerable loss of life to date, the potential cost of property loss beyond what had already been done, and reached an agreement. I’m sure pride took a huge hit that day, but it takes good men, and even better leaders, to recognize when enough is enough and come to an agreement that is for the good of all.
Equal Pay Day – This day is observed annually in April to show the point into a year that most women must work to earn what a man made the previous year. Census statistics that were released in September of 2010 show that women still earn 77% of what men earn. That number is based on the median earnings of the full-time, year round workers in 2009. The numbers actually went down between 2009 from 2005 (I would interject my political point of view as to WHY that might be here, but most of my readers can guess what that would be without me sliding it in) from an all time historical high of 81% in 2005 to 80.2% in 2009. (I will just say that I do miss George). Gender wage discrimination has been illegal since President Kennedy signed the Equal Pay Act in 1963, but the wage gap persists. Women earned 59 cents to every dollar earned by men in 1963, but progress has slowed and the gender gap has widened again.
Jenkins Ear Day – On April 9, 1731, Spanish “guardacosta” boarded and plundered the British ship Rebecca off of the coast of Jamaica. Among other horrific deeds, they cut off the ear of English master mariner Robert Jenkins. Not much notice was taken of the event until about seven years later, when Jenkins exhibited the detached ear and described the atrocity happening, to a committee of the House of Commons. As a result, Britain declared war on Spain in October 1739. This war lasted until 1743 and is still known as the “War of Jenkin’s Ear”. Not much else is known about him.
National Be Kind to Lawyers Day – Lawyers are some of the most made fun of people out there. They are the butt of horrible jokes, snide sneers, and downright rude remarks. They are disrespected at every turn, yet who is the first person so many call the moment they land themselves in trouble, need a will written up, want to make sure their businesses are started properly, or pretty much anything else that requires a complete and total understanding of the law? That’s right . . . a lawyer. So put away the lawyer jokes just for the day (OK, so I couldn’t resist the above cartoon! I LOVE Non-Sequiter jokes!) Whether or not you like the specialty of any particular lawyer – the most ridiculed being the defense attorney – remember, every single one of them went through years of difficult college study, passed rigorous testing to pass the bar, and have earned their titles through blood, sweat and likely tears! Everyone deserves a defense, everyone has, under our law, the right to an attorney. For today then, put away the negatives and the jokes, and have a kind thought for these legal eagles at least for one single day. We can go back to the jokes tomorrow.
National Cherish An Antique Day – Many of us have antiques in our homes that have been handed down from generation to generation. Some are hideous and don’t fit in, some are special because they were special to someone we loved, and some are actually worth a great deal of money! I have a miniature china tea set that my Grandmother gave to me. I don’t know what the value is monetarily, but to me it is priceless. It used to sit on a corner shelf in Grandma’s kitchen. She’d take it down, wash it up, and we would have tea parties right there at the kitchen table, little cookies she’d made gracing the rosebud covered plates, and sips of tea in our tiny cups. We would discuss things like grown-up ladies, and have a wonderful time creating memories that I tear up with when I think of them. My computer monitor is sort of blurry right now! From my earliest memories Grandma told me that someday the tea set would be mine. I would give it back in a heartbeat if Grandma could be with us again, but since she’s having a much better time in Heaven than we are here on earth, I won’t begrudge her the tea parties she’s having up there, and just bask in the glow of the beautiful memories she created for me while she graced this earth. Maybe some of you could share precious memories of some of the antiques you have in your home? I’d like to hear them! Right now though, I need to wipe my eyes.
National Former Prisoner of War Recognition Day – In honor of National Former Prisoner of War Recognition Day, please take a moment to remember all the men and women who suffered in captivity while protecting and defending the United States of America. We should also remember and forever strive to recover our MIAs as well. This is something I can say goes so deep into my heart, and I would hope into every single citizen of this country! These men and women deserve to come home, they deserve to be acknowledged and have their suffering recognized and honored! They gave their all for this country and each of us . . . the least we could do is give them respect and honor.
Winston Churchill Day celebrates the day that he was made an honorary US citizen. In 1963 Winston Churchill became the very first person to become an honorary citizen, and he was given this honor posthumously. There have been only 6 people, two of which are a married couple who received it at the same time, to be given this honor. To become an honorary US Citizen you must have made extraordinary accomplishments or contributions in your life. A law must be drafted and voted upon by the U.S. Senate. Celebrate today by reading about Winston Churchill, Britain’s Prime Minister during World War II.