Do you ever just have random thoughts running through your mind? I admit that over the last few days I have been taking asking myself questions, big ones. So I’ll ask one of them of you . . . if you could do anything at all for a job, what would it be? Set aside any typical objections as to why it wouldn’t work, or you couldn’t do it . . . just for a moment dream. And what is it that is keeping you from those dreams? I am of the firm belief that we can have anything we dream about . . . it may take us a long time to get there, it may not be by the usual route that other people take, but it doesn’t make the dream less achievable . . . it just makes it achievable by a different path than someone else. I think, especially as people get to the point in life where I am, staring 50 in the face, that we begin to assess what it was we didn’t do that we’d always wanted to, and wonder how much longer we have to change the path the one we always dreamed of having. When we were in our 20s it felt like we had FOREVER to get where we wanted to be, and now . . . well . . . forever just doesn’t feel as far away as it used to feel. I read stories about people who work their whole lives, saving, dreaming and thinking that someday, when they retire, or when the kids grow up, or . . . or . . . or . . . and by the time they get around to planning what they WANT to do, it’s too late. This has nothing to do with today’s celebrations, the day of the week, or anything in particular – it’s just something to think about as we go about our lives. Enjoy the beautiful day. It’s supposed to be a record breaking warm day for around here . . .81! I’m not a fan of heat, so we’ll see how this goes.
Holy Humor Month – Joke of the Day (Last One!)
This is a long one – but a good one for the last Holy Joke of the Month:
The Bible, Through the Eyes of a Child
Here’s our version of the stories of the Bible if they were to be told by a child.
In the beginning, which was close to the start, there wasn’t anything except God, darkness and some gas. The Bible says, “The Lord, thy God, is one,” but I think He has to be much older than that.
Anyway, God made the world and then He said, “Give me some light,” and somebody gave it to Him. He split an atom and made Eve. Adam and Eve didn’t wear any clothes, but they weren’t embarrassed because God hadn’t invented mirrors, yet. Adam and Eve sinned by eating one bad apple and they were driven out of the Garden of Eden. I’m not sure what God drove them in because He hadn’t invented cars, either. Adam and Eve’s son, Cain, hated his brother as long as he was Abel. After a while, all of the first people died, except Methuselah, who lived to be, like, a million years old.
The next important person was Noah. He was a really good guy, but one of his kids was a Ham. Noah built a big boat in his back yard and put his family and a lot of animals in it. He asked his neighbors to join them, but they said they would have to take a rain check. Next were Abraham, his son Isaac and his grandson Jacob. Esau was Jacob’s brother, but Jacob was more famous because Esau sold him his birthmark for some pot roast. Jacob had a son, Joseph. Joseph wore a really loud sports coat.
Moses was the next important man. His real name was Charlton Heston. Moses led the Israel lights out of Egypt because of the bad Pharaoh. God sent ten plagues on the Egyptians. Some of the plagues were mice, frogs, bugs, lice and no cable. Every day in the desert, God fed the Israel lights some manicotti. He gave them His “Top Ten” commandments. They were things like: don’t lie, don’t cheat, don’t dance, don’t smoke, don’t covet your neighbor’s stuff (whatever that means). He also told them to humor their fathers and mothers.
Moses’ best helper was Joshua. He was the first person to use spies. He fought the battle of Geritol. That’s when the fence fell down on the town.
David came after Joshua. They made him king after he killed a giant with a slingshot.
One of David’s sons was called Solomon. He had, like, 300 wives and 500 porcupines. They told us in Sunday School that he was a really wise man, but that doesn’t sound too wise to me.
Jonah and Other Prophets
After Solomon came a whole lot of major league prophets. Jonah was one of them. He was swallowed by a whale, then barfed up on the beach. There were some other minor league prophets, but they weren’t too important.
The New Testament
When the Old Testament was done, they started the New Testament. Jesus was the Star. He was born in a barn in the town of Bethlehem. I wish I had been born in a barn, too, because then, when my mother says to me, “Close the door. Were you born in a barn?” I could say, “As a matter of fact, I was.” Jesus argued a lot with the Chief Priests and Democrats. He had twelve opossums. Most of them were good, but Judas Asparagus was not. He was so bad, they named a really yucky vegetable after him. Jesus healed some people and leopards. Then He preached to the Germans on the Mount. But the Chief Priests and Democrats were mad at him and put Him on trial. Pilot was too chicken to stick up for Him, so he just washed his hands. Jesus died for our sins and came back to life again. He went to heaven, but will come back at the end of the aluminum. We can read about this in the Book of the Revolution.
Hairstyle Appreciation Day – Every time I go to town and look around, I find myself laughing. It’s probably not nice of me, but I can’t help it! Do people even look at themselves in the mirror before they leave the house? I’m giggling at the whole picture, usually – and aware that other people are probably doing that to me – but today we are talking about hair styles specifically. Hair is something that allows us to express our own unique personality. Look back over the decades to get a really good idea of just how each generation has expressed itself through it’s own hairstyles. I went to high school in the early 80’s, and for anyone reading this, it was ALL about how BIG the girls’ hair was, and how well it stayed in place. The result? I had my baby girl in the 80s – poor kid went through the first few years of her life with BIG hair. I have to giggle at some of the pictures of what I put that child through. What was YOUR favorite unique hairstyle – either on you, or in general – and what was your LEAST favorite? I have to admit that I have a real negative response to a mullet. It’s just weird! Enjoy your hairstyle watching today . . . because after reading this, you KNOW that’s what you will be doing all day.
National Honesty Day – I’m not a fan of people who lie. I would like to think that I’m honest, and that other people know I’m treating them with the sort of integrity that I’d like to be shown by them. I’m not talking little, courtesy lies by omission. You know the ones . . . you see a baby that really isn’t all that attractive – you don’t want to lie, so you comment about how much hair he/she has, or how delicate his/her fingers are, etc. You avoid the issue of saying how cute the baby is to avoid hurting the parents because to them this is the most beautiful baby on the planet . . . and that’s how it should be. No, I’m talking honesty that is a virtue, the kind where everyone knows you would never be the “boy who cried wolf”. There are few rules to celebrating today . . . just be honest!
International Guide Dogs Day – Have you ever watched a guide dog at work? It’s amazing. These are some of the most incredible animals on the planet, and they make such a difference in the lives of their people that it just is difficult to say enough how special they are! When you watch them you can’t help but feel awe and take inspiration from the dedication shown to their owners. Today is for honoring all of the hard work that goes into training a guide dog, and all of the dedication and love that these amazing dogs give to their owners every day.
This Day In History –
1975 – The Vietnam War ends with the fall of Saigon (later renamed Ho Chi Minh City)
Food Celebration of the Day –
I had to cut a couple of these a little shorter than I normally would have. I need to head out to the hospital. I got a call last night that, after running some tests in Urgent Care on my Mom for some chest pains she’d been having, that they were sending her to the hospital overnight. I need to get there to sit with her while they figure out what is going on. Have a wonderful Wednesday! God Bless You and I’ll see you tomorrow!