Humor Month – Joke of the Day
There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired. Several years later the company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their multimillion dollar machines.
They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine to work but to no avail. In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past.
The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. He spent a day studying the huge machine. At the end of the day, he marked a small “x” in chalk on a particular component of the machine and stated, “This is where your problem is”.
The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again.
The company received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer for his service. They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges.
The engineer responded briefly: One chalk mark $1 Knowing where to put it $49,999 It was paid in full and the engineer retired again in peace.
Hairstyle Appreciation Day – Have you ever looked back over school pictures and had to laugh at yourself because of some of the hair styles you went through over the years? I certainly did! My goodness, what were people thinking? This day was started with the intention of celebrating the unique traits of all hair styles. Hair after all lets us express ourselves individually, and some of our styles don’t speak softly, they SHOUT! Each generation of youth creates its own hairstyles, or return to some that have been popular in the past. Hair colors and even NO hair are to be included in this celebration, since after all, they too are hair styles in their own right. Take a walk down memory lane with me . . . some of these will speak to all of us, and some to just some of us. Did your Mom (for the girls) slick your hair up to a little curly-q that looked like the top of a soft serve ice cream cone? Mine did! Oh my! By the time I got into school my hair was long enough to pull into a pony tail. My mother is an EXPERT at the tight pony tail – you know the ones. So tight that they make your face feel like it’s being pulled back into the hairline? And she’d use those rubber bands with the little marbles on the ends? If you unhooked those things wrong you’d smack the heck out of your knuckles – torture devices! Once the hair came down at night my whole scalp would hurt from the stress and strain from being pulled up so tightly. I came home with it down one day – I got in trouble. I apparently looked sloppy with it down. FINALLY by late middle school she let me wear it down, though every day when I got home I was informed that I looked terrible. By this time I could sit on it and I loved sitting and brushing it. Mom sent me to one of her friends for a trim (the friend had just opened her own shop), so I went in and asked her to just take a few inches off the bottom to get rid of the split ends. Like many stylists I’ve dealt with since then, she assumed she knew what I wanted more than I did, and she whacked it off at my shoulders! I was furious! I refused to pay, but that too got me into trouble, so I was went back with the money and even after the woman had hacked off all of my hair, I was the one who had to apologize. The injustice of it all really irked me for quite some time. What followed were a few years of a truly awful style – you know, that 70’s look when all the girls were going for the Farah style and falling horribly short? Yeah, that one. Oh my goodness. I’m sure we all have horror stories about different hair-dos we’ve had, but truly, NOTHING could be as bad as the mullet. So everyone, no matter what styles come back to popularity, I truly believe we need to all take a collective vow to NEVER let friends get mullets, ever. The world will be a more beautiful place if that horrible style never returns.
National Honesty Day – We are told from the time we are small children that we are not to tell lies. I remember getting my mouth washed out with soap for telling lies . . . and if you have never had a mouth full of Ivory, let me tell you, the error of your ways really becomes a central focus very quickly! Nasty stuff! God tells us in the Bible not to lie, and there are many verse in Proverbs alone that focus on the topic. We want people to believe us when we tell them something, and if we are known for being tellers of the truth, they likely will! But if we are known for telling lies – whether big or small, the chances of being believed when it is really important, dwindle significantly. April Fool’s Day, or April 1st, is a big day all about lying, so what better way to end them month than with the focal point being on the truth? So, when was National Honesty Day begun? (even though it should have been in place for generations) In the early 1990s, M. Hirsch Goldberg, former press secretary to a governor of Maryland, and author of five books, created this day to end the month on a moral high note. I thought this was interesting . . . in 2011 a Gallup Annual Honesty and Ethics Poll was taken in which people were asked to rank professions in terms of who is the most honest. Nurses keep topping the list:
Most honest and ethical – nurses, pharmacists, medical doctors, high school teachers and police officers. (well, heck – I can tell you right now I don’t agree with all of these – and I find it to be quite sad that clergy aren’t on this list)
Least honest and ethical – members of Congress, lobbyists, car salespeople, telemarketers, and advertising practitioners (I agree with all of these and can think of a few more to add).
Bugs Bunny Day – The world met the Bugs Bunny we all know and love in his debut as a “mature” bunny in “A Wile Hare” on July 27, 1940. But the first time that viewers actually caught sight of the wascally wabbit was on April 30, 1938, in a short theatrical cartoon called “Porky’s Hare Hunt”. In that first appearance he was called “Happy Rabbit”. Bugs Bunny didn’t say his famous catch phrase “What’s Up Doc? until he came face to face with Elmer Fudd as a grown up bunny a couple years later. “A Wild Hare” was the first of over 175 animated shorts starring the Warner Brothers cartoon rabbit. How many hours did we spend as children giggling over the various characters on Saturday mornings. That was when TV was awesome, and those times were looked forward to with such anticipation. My father worked nights, so during the week I didn’t really get a chance to see him, but on Saturday mornings we’d watch cartoons together, both of us laughing our heads off. Bugs Bunny was a big part of my childhood memories with my father . . . so Happy Birthday Bugs Bunny. You truly are a loved wascally wabbit.
Food Celebration of the Day –
Raisin Day – Raisins are one of those foods that people either love, or hate. I happen to love them. Those little dried up grapes give such a healthy oopmf sprinkled into cereal, in oatmeal cookies, or in trail mix. Did you know that raisins are one of the top sources of dietary boron, which provides protection against osteoporosis, and reproduces many of the positive effects of estrogen therapy in post menopausal women? I didn’t either, but that’s what the link to World’s Healthiest Foods said! Remember those commercials on TV of the raisins that were singing and dancing to “I heard it on the grapevine? ” I miss that commercial. I forward through most commercials, but I can honestly say that I doubt I’d forward through those if they were on again. Give these little fruit nuggets a chance and appreciate the simple, nutritious beauty of this underrated treat.
National Oatmeal Cookie Day – And saving the BEST for last! Today is National Oatmeal Cookie Day. I can honestly say that oatmeal cookies are my kryptonite! I seriously cannot resist them. If I smell them baking, or even SEE them somewhere, I literally feel my mouth beginning to water in anticipation of the soft, chewy goodness that is wrapped up in that cookie. Chocolate chip and peanut butter tend to steal the spotlight in the cookie world, but a good old-fashioned oatmeal cookie is chewy (or crispy!) perfection when paired with a tall glass of milk. I made a batch last night, and they are gone already. I always use the recipe my Grandmother used – no other will ever be as good. It was very sweet, when my Grandmother passed away my uncle gathered up all of the handwritten recipes he could find that my Grandma had stashed in different places in her kitchen, he scanned them, and put them together in a cookbook, complete with wonderfully touching pictures of my Grandparents, and gave them to the family as gifts. The oatmeal recipe I thought was lost, was in there. The funny thing was though, that Grandma left out a couple of key ingredients on her handwritten copy, and she told me once that I was the only one who knew what they were. I never told anyone else, but someday maybe I’ll pass it down to my daughter or son if they show an interest. When I make these cookies- the BEST oatmeal cookies I’ve ever had – I can almost pictures Grandma smiling down at me, the aroma of her cookies sending me straight back to her kitchen, and all those special moments we had baking together. Though I won’t share her recipe publicly, I will pass along these recipes from www.food.com. I’m sure one of them will be completely acceptable and give you a taste of chewy goodness that is an oatmeal cookie.
Today was an odd day for me. There were several listed celebrations that I left out on purpose because they are in direct opposition to my personal beliefs. There were two listed pagan holidays today, one that praised the United Nations (I just don’t have the stomach for it), and one that I feel directly affects home and family in a way that is in opposition to Biblical teaching. Just know that I pick the holidays I do because of the fun, or the meaningfulness. I won’t promote anything I feel is in opposition to God’s intentions for our walk with Him, or that could lead anyone astray. The only other holidays I deliberately ignore or leave out are those I cannot find any backup or reasoning for, or religious holidays that I don’t have objection to, but that may be so outside the bounds of my knowledge that I am afraid of saying something that would in some way misrepresent them or offend someone. I just thought it was important to put that out there to you today. Have a wonderful Tuesday . . . we’re one day closer to the weekend! God Bless You . . . I’ll see you tomorrow.