Humor Month – Joke of the Day
Kidspeak – What will they say next? (The last one had me in stitches!)
The Police – A policeman was taking a vandalism report at an elementary school when he was interrupted by a six year old girl. She looked up and down at his uniform and asked, “Are you a policeman?” “Yes, I am,” he said. “My mother told me that if I ever needed help I should ask a policeman. Is that right,” the girl asked. “Yes it is,” said the policeman. The girl extended her foot to the policeman and said, “OK, then, would you tie my shoe?”
More Police – At the end of the day, a policeman parked his van in front of the station. As he was gathering his equipment, his dog started barking. The policeman looked up to see a puzzled looking little boy. “Is that a dog you have back there?” “Yes, it is,” said the policeman. “What’d he do?”
The Elderly – When I worked for an organization which delivered meals to the elderly, I would take along my four year old daughter. She was always fascinated by the appliances of old age – canes, walkers, wheelchairs, etc. One day I saw her staring at a set of false teeth in a jar. She said to me, “The tooth fairy will never believe this.”
Ex-Spouse Day – My ex did only two good things in his entire life – donate the DNA to create my two amazing kids. Other than that, he has nothing to recommend him as a human being and to be honest, I can’t think of a single person who has actually benefited from knowing him. He is mean, selfish, narcissistic, and the list goes on. The person who set up this day to honor ex’s apparently didn’t have one that is as awful as mine. For the people who actually DO have a decent friendship with their ex-spouse – more power to you. I can say one good thing about my ex. He did me the favor of leaving me, and in so doing, gave me the opportunity to find the man I am married to – the love of my life. I would have stuck it out til death us did part, so him leaving actually assisted me in becoming the happiest I’ve ever been, and it can only get better from here.
Global Day to End Child Sexual Abuse – Sexual assault and child abuse happens at every socioeconomic level, across ethnic and cultural lines, within all religions and at all levels of education. No matter who you are, what you look like, what you wear, what sexual orientation you are, where you live, how much money you make – you can fall victim to sexual assault or child abuse. In the United States, 44% of sexual assault victims are under the age of 18, and 80% are less than 30 years of age. 54% of sexual assaults are never reported to the police. About 2.78 million men in America have been sexually assaulted. In 8 out of every 10 rape cases, the victims knows the attacker. Every 2 minutes there is someone in the United States that is being sexually assaulted. Child abuse is reported every 10 seconds. More than 5 children die every day in the United States because of child abuse. About 80% of children who die from child abuse are under 4 years old, and about 30% of abused children will grow up to abuse their own children. About 80% of 21-year-olds that have been abused as children meet criteria for at least one psychological disorder. More than 90% of juvenile sexual abuse victims know their abuser in some way. Sexual assault and child abuse are traumatic events that have effects for a lifetime after the actions are done. It is shown that sexual assault and child abuse can lead to higher risks of anxiety and depression. It is an increasing epidemic that is so unnecessary! Taking a stand, speaking out, and no longer keeping silent, can help end the violence!
It defies my imagination how anyone could perpetuate these sorts of crimes against humanity – most especially against children. I am a strong proponent of the death penalty, and justice for the people who suffer from such crimes. There is no punishment harsh enough for these vile monsters who do these evil things to the innocent, and no words strong enough to describe what it is they deserve. This obviously isn’t a celebration, but an awareness raising day. May God touch the lives of the children (well, everyone actually!) hurt by these crimes.
Moment of Laughter Day – After the last two topics, we really NEED this one! Today is a special day that will put a big smile on your face. The entire purpose of this celebration is to get people to laugh, and to do it more often. Since “they” (the infamous they we always hear about) say that “laughter is the best medicine”, it is important that you bring about as much laughter and happiness to those you come into contact with today as you can. Tell jokes, or do funny things, to make people laugh. Laughter is contagious, and successful participation in this day is whole-hearted laughter. (FYI – while I was writing this we were watching the 2 movies – Johnny English and Johnny English Reborn – laughed til I nearly cried in certain parts. I highly recommend those movies for the purpose of THIS celebration)
Look Up at the Sky Day – In our hurry scurry lives we tend to go from place to place without looking left or right . . . or up! Yes, up! How many days do you live through without noticing the sky, how blue it is, how pretty the clouds are that float by, or maybe a flock of birds flying over. (have to be careful with that one, you may need to take cover). Take a few minutes to look up at the sky, appreciate the canvas of beauty God painted for you to see and appreciate. Don’t limit it to today though, take a look up every day.
Reach as High as You Can Day – We all have dreams, things we have wanted to accomplish and something just holds us back. Much of the time what holds us back is us! We are afraid to take a risk and and reach for what it is we want. Today there are no limits. Put a plan together in your head for what you want, and reach for the sky! Big or small, take a chance, you’ll never know unless you try. I know what my dreams are, but I’d have to win the lottery to actually put them into action. I guess it would work better if I actually bought a ticket. Maybe I’ll put that on my to-do list for this week.
Food Celebration of the Day
National Pecan Day – Always April 14th Pecan Day – Always March 25th
Here’s a quick recipe that most of you probably know about, but that any of you who don’t, may appreciate. Have you ever heard of Rolo Cookies? They were quite popular this past Christmas season – which is the first time I’d heard of them. You couldn’t find a more simple, quick and delicious little treat for those give-away boxes for the office. You need: A bag of small pretzel twists, a bag of Rolo Candy, unwrapped, and a bag of pecan halves. The amounts you use are up to you. Heat your oven to 250. Lay parchment paper out on cookie sheets. Put out as many pretzel twists in a single layer as you can fit, leaving about 1/4 inch in between. Put a Rolo in the center of each one. Pop that pan into the oven for 4-5 minutes (no longer!). Take the pan out of the oven, and squish a pecan half into the center of the Rolo, let cool, and there you go! You have a delicious candy/cookie treat! Salty, sweet. . . . They disappear fast, so you may want to stock up on those ingredients.
Here’s a few other recipes, courtesy of food.com for you to enjoy. . . . This reminds me, I need to add pecans to my Costco shopping list . . .
- Dear Abby’s Famous Pecan Pie
- Pecan-Crusted Bacon
- Chocolate Chip Maple Pecan Cookies
- Praline Pumpkin Custard Pie
- Pecan-Crusted Salmon
- Maple-Pecan Muffins